Friday, September 9, 2016

September: UNstuck

a few years ago i felt stuck.
i felt like i had reached the first peak in my life, but when i looked up to the next hill top i didn't feel excited, i didn't feel like what i was aiming for mattered; everything i was striving for felt meaningless. as i sat in a valley, i began to search for meaning. whatever that actually means..

i had graduated college the previous year and immediately started in a job that seemed like it was handed to me straight from God. i had moved into my own little apartment filled with hand-me-downs. i was in a pretty good relationship. i had a cat... life was moving appropriately along this preexisting imaginary dream scale i had in my head. but when i got stuck, i started asking myself questions like, "who came up with this 'American Dream' concept anyway", and "why do i feel so unhappy being right on target at 23", and "is this really it?"

i've always been a dreamer. i've always been the type to look ahead and plan my days and months, organize my year to "maximize my time", and create a 5-year plan in order to get after it, but what i didn't realize was i was forming a bad habit. i'm not saying dreaming and planning are bad because they are absolutely necessary to an extent, but what i am saying is this routine put ME in control, leaving me with a fluctuating self-esteem and an overly idealistic approach to life.

this is about the time when God starting nudging me into a real relationship with him. i'd always "believed" in God. i knew he was "out there somewhere". i'd heard bible stories, and knew who Noah, and Jonah, and Adam and Eve were, but i never understood their significance. i didn't know what "hearing from God" sounded like, or what "seeing God" looked like. but he pursued me in my sin, and in questioning my purpose, he answered me.

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About Me

About Me
i'm drey. i'm 25. i have two cats; i love to travel, take pictures, walk around antique shops, and eat donuts... and i'm trembling at the feet of my Savior.

Psalm 111:10

"The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise."


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